Sunday, February 27, 2011
Flo's Own...Poetry: How To Mummify Your Heart
This one just jumped out of nowhere. For some reason I was researching tylosis (how trees stop themselves from rotting in the middle) this week. Went for a walk in the woods, saw lots of fallen trees with hollow middles. Then last night out this one popped. This is draft 1. Don't know whether I like it or not yet. But here it is.
How to Mummify your Heart
First, you must plant your feet in the ground, and draw
up water by capillary action until your toes go pruney
(this shrivelling is essential - it's part of the magic).
Then take a deep breath and hold it. Stay as still as Saint
Kevin until you have sucked in all the CO2, then breathe out
the nitrogen and oxygen. You may find it easier
to whittle out the unwanted air by whistling
as you exhale. Step three is to wait for some bright
sunshine. Savour its warmth on your skin. Your eyes
will turn green. Keep them open, and stare into the sun.
Now you are photosynthesising. You'll feel a tingle
in your bloodstream - try not to panic, ladies and gentlemen,
this is perfectly normal. When you have photosynthesised enough
to have built up some stores of waste products,
set aside your resins and gums.
Now, here's one I made earlier. Watch as I unscrew my ribs
and open up from the sternum; you will see a hard and woody
centre. It's dead wood. As I have expanded
my core has died. But so that I do not become
all hollow on the inside I plug
my frail veins with the resins and gums. This we call
tylosis. When you've practised, this will come
as easily as transpiration, as reflexive as osmosis.
But for now, concentrate really hard. Be aware
of your spinal column, your veins, your aorta.
This should feel almost like a meditation. Imagine
the waste resins and gums pumping through your bloodstream.
Direct them to your heart. Don't get confused between
the pulmonary vein and artery, they're not the same
as your other tubes. Madam, you on the left -
I see that you are getting there. Watch, everyone, the colour leaving her face,
her expression blankening. Very good, very good. Now
open up your ribs - that's it - let's check.
Your xylem is as hard as concrete, madam.
Keep trying everyone else! If you want to mummify your heart
perseverance is key. Look at madam here. There's a breezeblock in her chest.
Excellent!
(c) stays with me.
How to Mummify your Heart
First, you must plant your feet in the ground, and draw
up water by capillary action until your toes go pruney
(this shrivelling is essential - it's part of the magic).
Then take a deep breath and hold it. Stay as still as Saint
Kevin until you have sucked in all the CO2, then breathe out
the nitrogen and oxygen. You may find it easier
to whittle out the unwanted air by whistling
as you exhale. Step three is to wait for some bright
sunshine. Savour its warmth on your skin. Your eyes
will turn green. Keep them open, and stare into the sun.
Now you are photosynthesising. You'll feel a tingle
in your bloodstream - try not to panic, ladies and gentlemen,
this is perfectly normal. When you have photosynthesised enough
to have built up some stores of waste products,
set aside your resins and gums.
Now, here's one I made earlier. Watch as I unscrew my ribs
and open up from the sternum; you will see a hard and woody
centre. It's dead wood. As I have expanded
my core has died. But so that I do not become
all hollow on the inside I plug
my frail veins with the resins and gums. This we call
tylosis. When you've practised, this will come
as easily as transpiration, as reflexive as osmosis.
But for now, concentrate really hard. Be aware
of your spinal column, your veins, your aorta.
This should feel almost like a meditation. Imagine
the waste resins and gums pumping through your bloodstream.
Direct them to your heart. Don't get confused between
the pulmonary vein and artery, they're not the same
as your other tubes. Madam, you on the left -
I see that you are getting there. Watch, everyone, the colour leaving her face,
her expression blankening. Very good, very good. Now
open up your ribs - that's it - let's check.
Your xylem is as hard as concrete, madam.
Keep trying everyone else! If you want to mummify your heart
perseverance is key. Look at madam here. There's a breezeblock in her chest.
Excellent!
(c) stays with me.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Woman in a Blue Anorak redraft
Here we are at about draft 7. Often I write more drafts but with some poems I find that they are what they are, there is only so much tweaking you can do and only so far the poem can be pushed. In this draft I didn't change much, just the couple of words shown in bold italics, which just flitted into my head as I was rereading. The ommission of the word 'like' is shown with a hat ^
Woman in a Blue Anorak
She snatches at the corners of eyes.
Courting blackbirds before her capoeira
their tails treacle and syrup fans.
Her face is blank flesh, melted ^ ice.
She flicks a cigarette, and as the ash falls like dice
she shifts her weight sideways and
the blackbirds switch to samba.
She could be made of sand,
disintegrating in a breath, leaving only
frozen folds of navy PVC.
She snatches at the corners of eyes.
She flicks her cigarette, and ash falls like slo-mo dice.
(Copyright (c) 2011 stays with me).
So why did I change it, and what does changing only a couple of words achieve?
This poem is very different to my usual style. It works with a couple of different rhymes and/or half-rhymes repeated throughout the poem (along with alliteration, something which I find myself using a lot of and that I sort of consider a key characteristic of my work). These rhymes run throughout the poem, broken up here or there but carrying on over both stanzas.
The rhyme scheme echoes the structure of the poem, in that the structure echoes itself between lines. Apart from repeating one or two lines in their entirety or near-entirety, various images are repeated, almost motif-like. The dance (capoeira...samba), the repetition of the idea of liquidity (treacle and syrup...melted ice)... The poetry of the piece comes from the repetition of these ideas, images and the words themselves.
These qualities kind of came out of the poem of their own accord. I redrafted it and at about draft 5 I thought, 'ooh, it appears that I have subconciously stuck in some rhymes and repetition!' However, I like the effect. I like the way the poem kind of flows, then it broken up by the only/PVC anomaly, kind of a little flicker in the poem, and then continues again. This absolutely captures the flickering ghostliness of the woman.
Woman in a Blue Anorak
She snatches at the corners of eyes.
Courting blackbirds before her capoeira
their tails treacle and syrup fans.
Her face is blank flesh, melted ^ ice.
She flicks a cigarette, and as the ash falls like dice
she shifts her weight sideways and
the blackbirds switch to samba.
She could be made of sand,
disintegrating in a breath, leaving only
frozen folds of navy PVC.
She snatches at the corners of eyes.
She flicks her cigarette, and ash falls like slo-mo dice.
(Copyright (c) 2011 stays with me).
So why did I change it, and what does changing only a couple of words achieve?
This poem is very different to my usual style. It works with a couple of different rhymes and/or half-rhymes repeated throughout the poem (along with alliteration, something which I find myself using a lot of and that I sort of consider a key characteristic of my work). These rhymes run throughout the poem, broken up here or there but carrying on over both stanzas.
The rhyme scheme echoes the structure of the poem, in that the structure echoes itself between lines. Apart from repeating one or two lines in their entirety or near-entirety, various images are repeated, almost motif-like. The dance (capoeira...samba), the repetition of the idea of liquidity (treacle and syrup...melted ice)... The poetry of the piece comes from the repetition of these ideas, images and the words themselves.
These qualities kind of came out of the poem of their own accord. I redrafted it and at about draft 5 I thought, 'ooh, it appears that I have subconciously stuck in some rhymes and repetition!' However, I like the effect. I like the way the poem kind of flows, then it broken up by the only/PVC anomaly, kind of a little flicker in the poem, and then continues again. This absolutely captures the flickering ghostliness of the woman.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
My Own...Poetry: Woman in a Blue Anorak
The other day as I was walking home through a housing estate I was watching a blacbird and his wife dancing and hopping about. Then suddenly something moved in my vision and I saw a woman standing outside a house smoking. I turned to go but for some reason I looked back, and she was gone. Hard to explain why, but this really freaked me out at the time and I decided she must have been a ghost (not sure I actually believe in ghosts but sometimes I let my imagination take me places). This poem was the result.
This is about 3rd draft. When I write a poem it usually starts off as verbal diarrhoeawhere I just get the initial spark down and then the other ideas that flow from it. Then I stick the bits of the verbal diarrhoea together to make draft 2, and then draft 3 refines it further. This all happens very quickly. Then I leave the poem for up to a period of several months and come back to it and tweak it, although by this point it is rare that I rewrite the whole thing (might start something new based on it though). So this one needs to be left for a while to incubate, but here it is as it is now.
Woman in a Blue Anorak
She snatches at the corners of eyes.
Courting blackbirds before her capoeira
their tails treacle and syrup fans.
Her face is blank flesh, melted like ice.
She flicks a cigarette, and as the ash falls like dice
she shifts her weight sideways and
the blackbirds switch to samba.
She could be made of sand,
disintegrating in a breath, leaving only
stiffened-water folds of navy PVC.
She snatches at the corners of eyes.
She flicks her cigarette, and ash falls like slo-mo dice.
Copyright (c) remains with me.
This is about 3rd draft. When I write a poem it usually starts off as verbal diarrhoeawhere I just get the initial spark down and then the other ideas that flow from it. Then I stick the bits of the verbal diarrhoea together to make draft 2, and then draft 3 refines it further. This all happens very quickly. Then I leave the poem for up to a period of several months and come back to it and tweak it, although by this point it is rare that I rewrite the whole thing (might start something new based on it though). So this one needs to be left for a while to incubate, but here it is as it is now.
Woman in a Blue Anorak
She snatches at the corners of eyes.
Courting blackbirds before her capoeira
their tails treacle and syrup fans.
Her face is blank flesh, melted like ice.
She flicks a cigarette, and as the ash falls like dice
she shifts her weight sideways and
the blackbirds switch to samba.
She could be made of sand,
disintegrating in a breath, leaving only
stiffened-water folds of navy PVC.
She snatches at the corners of eyes.
She flicks her cigarette, and ash falls like slo-mo dice.
Copyright (c) remains with me.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
My Own...Poetry: Holding a Dead Rabbit
Everything is opposites: you fell asleep lying down
so your top is your bottom, and your bottom is your top
and you are solid in the wrong places and soft where you should be strong.
A drop of blood at your nose, congealed around the roots of whiskers,
and a gap between your smiling moustachioed lips showing ivory incisors
and a gash of pink tongue that once felt like soft raindrops.
Puffs of velvet fur spring in angles I have never seen before, in my arms
so close your very crimp is visible, I can see your molecules,
beneath the rigid lids there might still lie
the swimming moon of your cataracts. But why would they
when the curls of your legs are as unstrung as
Odysseus' abandoned bow and your middle
doesn't flutter like it used to. Down you go to the Eternal Burrow,
with Brussels sprouts for the afterlife
and a drop of blood on your nose.
Copyright (C) stays with me.
so your top is your bottom, and your bottom is your top
and you are solid in the wrong places and soft where you should be strong.
A drop of blood at your nose, congealed around the roots of whiskers,
and a gap between your smiling moustachioed lips showing ivory incisors
and a gash of pink tongue that once felt like soft raindrops.
Puffs of velvet fur spring in angles I have never seen before, in my arms
so close your very crimp is visible, I can see your molecules,
beneath the rigid lids there might still lie
the swimming moon of your cataracts. But why would they
when the curls of your legs are as unstrung as
Odysseus' abandoned bow and your middle
doesn't flutter like it used to. Down you go to the Eternal Burrow,
with Brussels sprouts for the afterlife
and a drop of blood on your nose.
Copyright (C) stays with me.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
My Own...Poetry: Thoughts From A Breton Separatist Toad With A Red Feather Beard
Wrote this poem in about twenty minutes. Might not be finished, might be. The idea came from a writing exercise I sometimes do to get me going, where I just write whatever comes into my head for five minutes. That's where the toad and his beard came from. The Breton separatist bit came from some of the people I follow on Twitter! (I'm not a terrorist or anything, I just like to hear about what's going on in Brittany). There are a few little details in this poem about my own childhood, when every holiday was spent in Brittany. We had a wonderful neighbour whom I think of as a surrogate granny, and who was terrified of toads and salamanders, apart from being one of the wisest and kindest people I have ever known. Our garden was full of toads, so every time we found one we would go and show it to her. There is no landscape on earth quite like the Breton. I miss it terribly so this crazy poem is a tribute to one of my favourite places.
Thoughts from a Breton Separatist Toad with a Red Feather Beard
When I was just a comma in my jellied womb
long ago in Finistere, in a quiet freshwater pool
under glowering granite and dripping tongues of ivy,
it felt like sphereing when a fish swam past,
I rolled over in my world and felt a kick in my belly.
Now somewhere by my flimsy-skinned navel
I feel wingbeats when I sing. It is the same feeling,
and I sense myself glowing in the forget-ne-not blood
of a summer sunset; the sky glows like granit rose
or the opal expanse of la Cote d'Emeraude.
My skin was once gwen ha du, now faded to brown-green,
peppered with dimples
like the buckwheat shroud around a sausage. This land
is beautiful and terrible, and as I am le diable, it suits me
to a ty.
A croak rumbles in my belly; I let it go.
I feel wingbeats again. The moon rises and paints the slogans of my skin
proudly gwen ha du. I look around me, feel
the footsteps of a giant, the stillness of stupefied
ancient armies,
here by the side of the same small pool
hidden between glowering granite and dripping tongues of ivy.
copyright (C) 2011 stays with me.
Thoughts from a Breton Separatist Toad with a Red Feather Beard
When I was just a comma in my jellied womb
long ago in Finistere, in a quiet freshwater pool
under glowering granite and dripping tongues of ivy,
it felt like sphereing when a fish swam past,
I rolled over in my world and felt a kick in my belly.
Now somewhere by my flimsy-skinned navel
I feel wingbeats when I sing. It is the same feeling,
and I sense myself glowing in the forget-ne-not blood
of a summer sunset; the sky glows like granit rose
or the opal expanse of la Cote d'Emeraude.
My skin was once gwen ha du, now faded to brown-green,
peppered with dimples
like the buckwheat shroud around a sausage. This land
is beautiful and terrible, and as I am le diable, it suits me
to a ty.
A croak rumbles in my belly; I let it go.
I feel wingbeats again. The moon rises and paints the slogans of my skin
proudly gwen ha du. I look around me, feel
the footsteps of a giant, the stillness of stupefied
ancient armies,
here by the side of the same small pool
hidden between glowering granite and dripping tongues of ivy.
copyright (C) 2011 stays with me.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
My Own...Flash Fiction
Here are a couple of Flash Fiction pieces I wrote. They are old submissions to Mslexia magazine. I like Flash or Micro-fiction - telling a story in as few words as possible - because it's the perfect medium for capturing snapshots of daily life and twisting it into a story. For both of these pieces, the word limit was 150 words. These were some of the first pieces I wrote after a long break from writing, a break that spanned almost my entire teenagerhood. They're rough - really rough - but I feel attached to them, as they signal the start of me honing my talent for writing again (isn't it strange how growing up stagnates your imagination? I'm still working on reawakening mine) and pursuing the career I have always dreamed of.
Eyebrows - 118 words - early 2010
I sat next to him watching with disdain the soft white swell of flesh beneath his chin. "Save room for pudding, there's ice cream," said Adam's mum as she set down piles of cocktail sausages and cubes of cheese and pineapple on little sticks. But Jeremy didn't take any notice, piling chicken nugget after chicken nugget on his party-printed paper plate. I raised my eyebrows at him as high as they would go, staring at him meaningfully, emmitting waves of disapproval. Glutton, you fatty, I thought. How can you possibly finish thirteen chicken nuggets? Finishing the thirteenth nugget in one bite he turned to me and cocked an eyebrow. "Why are you making that funny face? Do you feel poorly?"
Alley Cats - 97 words - 2010
Recently the chickens have been stalked by a longhaired cat. The squawks alert me to each ambush and I dash out mid-cuppa brandishing sprays of hot tea. But the cat's appetite for feathery drumsticks seems insatiable. One day I am slow to run to the protection of my flock. I brace myself for the worst. Instead I find the cat cowering before the menacing figure of a broody hen. She is mercilessly plucking its fur for nest material. The cat, rapidly balding, looks relieved to see me. Beverage warfare offers better odds than food that fights back.
(C) stays with me, 2011
Any comments, tell me what you think, or share your own flash fiction!
Eyebrows - 118 words - early 2010
I sat next to him watching with disdain the soft white swell of flesh beneath his chin. "Save room for pudding, there's ice cream," said Adam's mum as she set down piles of cocktail sausages and cubes of cheese and pineapple on little sticks. But Jeremy didn't take any notice, piling chicken nugget after chicken nugget on his party-printed paper plate. I raised my eyebrows at him as high as they would go, staring at him meaningfully, emmitting waves of disapproval. Glutton, you fatty, I thought. How can you possibly finish thirteen chicken nuggets? Finishing the thirteenth nugget in one bite he turned to me and cocked an eyebrow. "Why are you making that funny face? Do you feel poorly?"
Alley Cats - 97 words - 2010
Recently the chickens have been stalked by a longhaired cat. The squawks alert me to each ambush and I dash out mid-cuppa brandishing sprays of hot tea. But the cat's appetite for feathery drumsticks seems insatiable. One day I am slow to run to the protection of my flock. I brace myself for the worst. Instead I find the cat cowering before the menacing figure of a broody hen. She is mercilessly plucking its fur for nest material. The cat, rapidly balding, looks relieved to see me. Beverage warfare offers better odds than food that fights back.
(C) stays with me, 2011
Any comments, tell me what you think, or share your own flash fiction!
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